Trust. It’s a tricky thing. I don’t know if I truly in my heart of hearts fully trust anyone. I feel like some people I have fully confided in have turned on me. Sometimes I see or hear things I am not supposed to and am irrevocably stung. There is nothing worse for me, then when someone attacks my character. I wonder why that is? Is it because I am insecure? Or is it because somewhere deep down I don’t think my character is all that great? I know I am flawed. I know I gossip, talk too much, sometimes take the jokes too far and judge others. Don’t we all have things we aren’t too proud of? I am always stunned when someone says something nice to or about me. I think I even pretend not to hear so they repeat it. I need that for some reason. Need it.
Friday someone attacked my character, it really hurt. But I do understand. Now I’m worried they are off with someone else attacking my character. I guess what it comes down to, is I know myself. If I can sit with my friend and badmouth others, who is to say they aren’t out there badmouthing me? So really, I have no one to blame but myself. Fabulous.
